Letters From the Earth: Letter 4

"The pleasant labor of populating the world went on from age to age, and with prime efficiency; for in those happy days the sexes were still competent for the Supreme Art when by rights they ought to have been dead eight hundred years. The sweeter sex, the dearer sex, the lovelier sex was manifestly at its very best, then, for it was even able to attract gods. Real gods. They came down out of heaven and had wonderful times with those hot young blossoms. The Bible tells about it." The biblical god decides things have gotten out of hand and decides to flood them all out.

Twain

Letters From the Earth: Letter 5

"There was to be one couple of each and every sort of creature that walked or crawled, or swam or flew, in the world of animated nature. We have to guess at how long it took to collect the creatures and how much it cost, for there is no record of these details." He had to set sail before he completed the task as it was reported that saurians were approaching and they were hungry.

Twain

Letters From the Earth: Letter 6

This fly was no ordinary fly but was the fly required to preserve typhoid fever. "It is most difficult to understand the disposition of the Bible God, it is such a confusion of contradictions; of watery instabilities and iron firmness; of goody-goody abstract morals made out of words, and concreted hell-born ones made out of acts; of fleeting kindness repented of in permanent malignities.
Twain

Letters From the Earth: Letter 7

" I throw in the if for the reason that there has never been an intelligent person of the age of sixty who would consent to live his life over again. His or anyone else's. The Family were saved, yes, but they were not comfortable, for they were full of microbes. Full to the eyebrows; fat with them, obese with them, distended like balloons. It was a disagreeable condition, but it could not be helped, because enough microbes had to be saved to supply the future races of men with desolating diseases, and there were but eight persons on board to serve as hotels for them."
Twain

Letters From the Earth: Letter 8

"Now if you or any other really intelligent person were arranging the fairness and justices between man and woman, you would give the man one-fiftieth interest in one woman, and the woman a harem. Now wouldn't you? Necessarily. I give you my word, this creature with the decrepit candle has arranged it exactly the other way.

Twain

Letters From the Earth: Letter 9

" If that is true, he foresaw that Adam and Eve would eat the apple; that their posterity would be unendurable and have to be drowned; that Noah's posterity would in their turn be unendurable, and that by and by he would have to leave his throne in heaven and come down and be crucified to save that same tiresome human race again. The whole of it? No! A part of it? Yes. How much of it? In each generation, for hundreds and hundreds of generations, a billion would die and all go to perdition except perhaps ten thousand out of the billion.

Twain

Letters From the Earth: Letter 11

"...Even the Church, which is credited with having spilt more innocent blood, since the beginning of its supremacy, than all the political wars put together have spilt, has observed a limit. A sort of limit. But you notice that when the Lord God of Heaven and Earth, adored Father of Man, goes to war, there is no limit. He is totally without mercy -- he, who is called the Fountain of Mercy. He slays, slays, slays!

Twain

Letters From the Earth

Letters From the Earth was composed over a long period of time, from his first travels overseas in the Holy Land, as reported in The Innocents Abroad, to within six months of his death. The material was edited by Bernard DeVoto in 1939 but was not actually published until 1962 when his daughter Clara gave permission to do so. The version I (or SLClemens) read was published on http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/twainlfe.htm
Mark Twain 1909

A Mysterious Visit from Sketches New and Old

Initially I thought this was just a humorous sketch but then I found some interesting connections with the current OWS (Occupy Wall Street) movement. This was first published the Buffalo Express, of which Mark Twain was a part owner. It was published again in the Internal Revenue Record of Customs Journal, April 9, 1870 (according to www.twainquotes.com/19610409.html)

The Innocents Abroad - Chapter 10

This chapter is apparently not a product of any letter posted to the Daily Alta California. It covers the celebration of the 4th of July on board the Quaker City, landing in Marseilles and his first dinner in France. They were rather disappointed in that their hostess spoke English. Of special interest is speculation by The Oracle on atmospheric physics and his dislike of poetry.

Poet Lariat

The Innocents Abroad - Chapter 9

An interesting chapter of Twains impressions of Moorish customs. This was originally published as Letter Number Four in the Daily Alta California on September 1, 1867. An image of this column is provided on this page. McKeithan (1958) remarks that "Twain tried to improve the diction" of the original letter for the text here in chapter 9 of the book. Here we have a discussion of various means of exacting punishment employed by the Moors.

Consul's Family

The Mind as a Hologram

I've heard (or read) that the human mind can be described as a hologram. If I recall correctly, and I haven't done any research on this, a hologram can be cut up into pieces and each piece will contain the entire image, a bit degraded depending on just how small the piece is. Again, I'm thinking of my mothers dementia (and I still haven't gotten to sleep (it's after 3am now)). Imagine the human mind is a four dimensional hologram and this hologram gets shattered. It doesn't fall apart but all the pieces are now free to move about. What kind of image can be seen in such a mind.

The Innocents Abroad - Chapter 5

In this chapter we learn all about ship time and how to chase the moon. The Innocents Abroad was written using Twain's journal as well as his correspondences to the Daily Alta California as well as other journals, including the New York Tribune. This chapter, chapter 5 and chapter 6 are covered by two separate letters that overlap to some extent. One to each of these two journals. Included with this page is a copy of the letter sent to the New York Tribune as it contains a description of Mr Blucher's dinner on Fayal.

Capote

Readings from the works of Mark Twain

I (my Second Life avatar) has been reading sketches and chapters from the works of Mark Twain since March of this year (2011). I don't really know why I started doing this other than to create some interesting content for my web site and to try to come up with some justification for playing around in that virtual realm of Second Life. I've long been a fan of Mark Twain but not a scholar. I must say, however, that with just the small portion I've worked on, my appreciation for his works has increased.

The Innocents Abroad - Chapter 2

Stormy and dreary the ship casts off then lies at anchor just at the harbor entrance. The seas are to high to proceed. "We would have shone at a wake, but not at anything more festive."

Mr. Blucher's opinion was first published in the Daily Alta California June 30, 1867 but written May 19th.

This is an enhanced version of chapter 2. I've learned some new techniques with audacity and with dvd-slideshow.

The Start

GRAND EUROPEAN PLEASURE TRIP

Daily Alta California, April 9, 1867

New York, March 2d, 1867.

GRAND EUROPEAN PLEASURE TRIP

PROMINENT Brooklynites are getting up a great European pleasure excursion for the coming summer, which promises a vast amount of enjoyment for a very reasonable outlay. The passenger list is filling up pretty fast.

The Innocents Abroad - Chapter 1

Mark has booked passage on an excursion to the Holy land on board the steamer Quaker City. Included here is a clipping from Daily Alta California dated June 6, 1867. The paper was published August 18, 1867. The clipping concerns Mark's activities the day before boarding. The pdf that the clipping originally came from was made available by California Digital Newspaper Collection

His first mention of the trip, as published in the Daily Alta California is dated April 9, 1867

Front Piece 2